Anyway, I recently "moved" to Denver (read: sleeping on my sister Emma's couch) - it's been about the same as Chicago. She goes to work in the morning, I feverishly masturbate for 2.5 hours, then find a coffee shop, then suffer a panic attack in said coffee shop (Penn St. Perk)'s bathroom as to where my life is going. The weekend/s have been fun - PhIsH is here this weekend but I decided I hate hippies more than ANYTHING, especially vagabonds. Otherwise we head up to the mountains and go on hikes that are probably better than any hike Kevin has ever been on with that woman of his.
I did have a glimmer of hope, however, when I decided to randomly email an editor from Maxim magazine. The conversation went as such:
Dear Ms. Radvan,
First, I want you to know that I know this is a total shot in the dark. I stumbled upon an article about great summer internships, which I know is probably completely over, but with “desperate times call for desperate measures” constantly ringing in my head I thought I would try my luck.
I recently graduated from the University of Illinois and since then have been fending off questions regarding my future with “I’d like to write for a magazine,” to which people just nod their heads and tell me they have leftover LSAT books if I need them. I’m not dumb enough to think I would get a real job with Maxim, but I think that if I were hired at any level and given a small shot I would succeed. For the duration of college I was the Managing Editor and Head Writer for the only entertainment/comedy magazine on a campus of 40,000 people. Not only did I oversee the entire operation, but also published several articles on line for a wider audience.
Again, I understand this is a shot in the dark. Even more I know this isn’t the “right way” to apply for jobs, and probably won’t get an email back seeing how you are a real person with a real job, and all I’ve done today is accidently water my sister’s fake plants. But I would be happy to send my resume, writing samples, or even describe my coffee-making skills at your request.
Anyway, thanks for your time,
Quinn Myers
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Hi Quinn,
Nothing wrong with a shot in the dark! Unfortunately right now we are only taking on editorial interns for the fall semester. If there was a way you'd be able to be able to receive academic credit go ahead and email me your resume.
Good luck with everything!
Stephanie
Stephanie Radvan
Editorial Assistant Maxim Magazine
415 Madison Ave.
New York, NY 10017
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Hey Stephanie,
Unfortunately, the only way I could receive credit is if I some how convinced you that Internet University of the Internet was a real school... and maybe that I was Justin Long.
However, I was thinking that on the outside chance of this working, I would send you my resume. I guess just in case there happens to be an opening anywhere - I do have plenty of janitorial experience.
I also think I should add that I'm not some dude/writer who sees Maxim as a place to work with hot girls and thinks "I want to go to there." I'm mostly attracted to the humor, style of writing, and the overall way Maxim portrays pop culture.
Thanks again for your time,
But just getting a response kept this day from being a total failure, so thanks!
Yours,
Quinn
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Buuuuuuttttt I haven't gotten an email back. Who knows though, maybe she will remember me and pass me on and I will write for the magazine AND BE THE HAPPIEST RICHEST MAN ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
myers, out.
someone else right something... for Pete's sake.
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